Cartoonist Roberta Gregory, who does the comic book Naughty Bits, ran two cartoons
ruminating on the lack of words for female jacking off.
Subsequently readers wrote in with their suggestions, and wrote, and wrote.
We gathered them together and ran them as a list in our July 1994 issue,
along with the cartoons by Ellen Forney and Pat Moriarty that started it all.
The terms were a huge success, finding their way onto people's refrigerators and into other publications.
1. Flicking the Switch 2. Reading Braille 3. Hiking the Grand Canyon 4. Deep Dishin' 5. Sushi Party 6. Polish Your Pencil 7. Ring for the Maid 8. Ride the Curl 9. Tickle the Mustache 10. Entering No Man's Land 11. Loob Your Goob 12. Flying Manual (with hands) 13. Flying Automatic (with vibrator) 14. Copying Georgia O'Keefe 15. Digging a Trench 16. Scrub the Cake Pan 17. Accordion Solo 18. Beating the Bush 19. Buttering the Potato 20. Performing for Mr. Swaggart 21. Combing the Brush 22. Flipping the Flaps 23. Launching a Class Probe 24. Searching for Spock 25. Muff Ruffing 26. Petting the Bunny 27. Riding the Wild Hand 28. Stirring the Cauldron 29. Tweaking the Twig 30. Strum 31. Push the Button 32. Strummin' the Big Open 33. Butting the Bead 34. Moving the Stone 35. Parting the Petals 36. Caressing the Kitty 37. Making Kitty Purr 38. Clit bits 39. Clit Twit 40. Furry Fun 41. Finger Fun 42. Fuzzy Fun 43. Parting the Red Sea 44. Petal Pushing 45. The Sweet Slide 46. Buzzing 47. The Wild Ride 48. Southern Comfort 49. Enjoying a little Southern Comfort 50. Navel Maneuvers 51. Blooming 52. Blossoming 53. Praising the Orchid 54. The Southern Slide 55. Taking a Trip South 56. Exploring the Deep South 57. Traveling Past the Mason-Dixon Line 58. Lady Fingers and Cream 59. Southern Seduction 60. Digitizing 61. Romancing the Rose 62. Ringing Southern Bells 63. A Little Southern Romance 64. Southern Pleasures 65. Buying an "E" Ticket 66. Making Waves 67. Fanning the Furnace 68. Mistressbate 69. Hoodwink 70. Juice It Up 71. Jill-Off 72. Polishing the Pearl 73. Battery Testing 74. Sorting the Oysters 75. Uni-Sex 76. Dating My Palm 78. Rowing the Little Man in the Boat 77. Tossing the Pink Salad 79. Tip Toeing Through The Two Lips 80. Petting the Kitty 81. Finger Dancing 82. Playing Fiddle 83. Spelunking 84. Churning the Cream 85. Making Butter 86. Pearl Diving 87. Stroking the Snail 88. Shelling the Bean 89. Feeding the Fish 90. Jump Start the River 91. Crossing the Swamp 92. Yawning 93. Invoking Venus 94. Four Lip Whistling 95. Playing Piano 96. Feeding the Other Mouth 97. Shooting the Rapids 98. Scuffing the Muff 99. One Hand Clapping 100. Harp Playing101. Digital Special Effects 102. Flipping through the Pages103. Pitching in the Bush League 104. Touch Typing105. Making Bumps 106. Rolling the Mink107. Spreading the Pedals 108. Skimming the Cream109. Waking the Butterfly 110. Making the Oysters Smile111. Pressing the Pleats 112. Basting the Meat113. Tickling her Fancy 114. Making Five Fingers115. Going on a Finger Ride 116. Dunking the Beaver117. In the Hand Cream 118. Greasing the Skillet119. On the Waterslide 120. Doing Laps121. Surfing at Finger Beach 122. Crossing the Great Divide123. Primin' the Hymen 124. Squeezing the Charmin125. Saying the Rosary 126. Shucking the Oyster127. Holding the Hamster 128. Cleaning the Clam129. Vulva Aria 130. Banging the Beezer131. Embracing the Plastic Age (vibrator) 132. Galloping on the Goldstar133. Zipping on the Zundap 134. Gusset tryping135. Shooting the Pink Marble 136. Pushing the Puch137. Tweaking the Program 138. A Date with Rosie139. Boffing the Bud 140. Hand to Gland Combat 140. Buff the Muff 141. Feeding the Beaver142. Petting the Bunny 143. The Task at Hand144. Buff the Beaver 145. Visit the Pet146. Bond with Kitty 147. Polish the Pussy148. Slime the Moat 149. Spanking the Clam150. Twanging the Kitty Wire 151. Tickle the Taco152. Slam the Clam 153. Strokin' the Slick154. Flipping the Bean 155. Bouncing on the Bed156. Opening the Honey Pot 157. Scramble the Bramble158. Fingering the Accused 159. ...and just plain ole having yourselfEmail a masturbatory neologism to: bluesock@teleport.com
Updated: 3 May 1997