goddesscafe

Do you think my goth roommate Romi would be prohibited from using pig's blood for hair dye, being Jewish and all?

Conversation with the asleep and inarticulate, 7:45 a.m:
"Hey, you have to get up now."
"What...what company...what...what...what company is it?"
"Huh?"
"What...what...what company is being repped?"
"What are you asking me?"
(long pause)
"Sorry, I thought I was still at the NAB convention."

::: posted by Alura Allumeuse at 2:13 PM

Friday, April 27, 2001 :::

Olivia Suh, Lloyd Suh's mom, named herself after Olivia Newton-John when they moved from South Korea. No joke. You're in good company, Mr. Kawasiki. For my nickname, I could stick with my traditional alter-appellation, Phoca, or I could be Poofy or Sealskin or Chieftain (In Sayles' film, Eamon teases Fiona about her fondness for the seal Chieftain, telling her that Chieftain might be the seal king who can become a man for a day, select a human bride, and carry her beneath the water with him forever... Chieftain was also the name of my high school newspaper...)

::: posted by kevin seal at 7:32 PM

Searching for websites about hair dye (my locks are taking a big blue bath this weekend) I came across this...obviously a soulmate to the Heil Hitler jokster Laura posted earlier.

::: posted by Patricia Rini at 5:08 PM

Most of you will remember the halcyon days of last fall, when I got paid a shitload of money (where the FUCK did it go?!? screams girl in debt, to herself) to web-surf and eat catered meals for several weeks of 13-hr, no-day-off shifts for nbcolympics.com. Apparently Quokka, which ran it all, fired almost everyone last week and is probably going to declare bankruptcy. (where this leaves the Quokka-produced saltlake2002.com, I'd love to know) Anyway, this item appeared on ebay and was taken down within a day. Top bid at the time, 71 cents.

Well, as most of you know, Jen and I are almost on our way to the Old World for some wild cavorting and lots of merry-making! Laura has provided a map of our intended journey, although the trail we'll really follow remains to be seen. Tips, anyone, for a European excursion?? We will definitely keep you all posted on our adventures! Our first...a 4:00 am trip to the SF airport on Tuesday - groan!

I want a chance to make up for my prom sucking ass junior year. Dammit, I need a date tonight!

::: posted by Alura Allumeuse at 12:36 PM

Ah, feed the kid a cheeseburger and let it be a dirty little secret between you. But here's a book for you, in case you were planning on sneaking a little sumpin'-sumpin' (as 2nd Lieut. Dr. Pettengill would say) after the girl goes to bed. You wouldn't want to break any more rules than necessary, now would you?

Dunno if you've been following the debate over a conservative placing anti-slavery-reparation ads in college papers, but here's an interesting story on campus censorship and the hypocrisy of conservative rhetoric - a writer tried to place an ad saying that god is an abortionist.

Thursday, April 26, 2001 :::

thanks for the play (: off of my post, all ya'll. And, as for the medicinal photos, i went right ahead and slapped those on, too. Sources of authentication are, my friends, always welcome.
I must hastily change my one-name choice to Olivia. i hung out with the 4&1/2 yr old i'm going to babysit occasionally today and she called me "Olivia" once. She's pretty funny. (She also called me "Funny Funny" and "FunnyHead"). Looks like my biggest challenge for the month will be keeping a kosher kitchen....

::: posted by emma c at 11:15 PM

well, you know, this is just a HUGE relief! (rolls eyes) Meanwhile, the socialists are disappointed in Ralph and his seeming lack of criticism for the chimp.

One of the contact people for an upcoming event here is named "Ione D. Brain." She owns-a de brain, huh? Whattsamatta, she can't-a share?

Dancing Paul has been nominated for a Webby Award. (music does the loops, jiggy does the arms, booty does the booty, etc) Kevin, Tunesmith should be putting your lupins to good use in this manner. "See xifer skank! Marvel at Evil Snake getting down! "

::: posted by Alura Allumeuse at 12:15 PM

One name huh... I might go with Le Corbu...oh wait. (I'll come up with something meaningful, and catchy, and perfectly appropriate...just not yet).

Lovely article btw... the face of road rage has never been more familiar, and somehow frightening. :)

::: posted by Rogue Designer at 12:03 PM

When Synthesis of Memes Attacks:
Feminist Aliens with Bourgeois Nicknames who read Demented Genius Literature while Cruising the Strip...

"Don't bogart that joint, you bougie bastard." -- favorite use of the aforementioned epithet

"There's no magic show on Monday! We give you the night off... to recover... from the laughter!" -- favorite outdoor PA announcement on Las Vegas Boulevard, heard outside the Flamingo Casino

I wish I could say that this was another feminist scum family tree, but alas it is not:
Bougie, J. Montreal
Bougie, Onesime Montreal
Bourgeois, Amable Montreal (amiable bourgeois?)
Bourgeois, Cyrille Montebello
Bourgeois, Delphine (Mrs.) wid Ls. Montreal
Bourgeois, Joseph Montreal

::: posted by kevin seal at 9:54 AM

Wednesday, April 25, 2001 :::

I was trying to blog my response but my computer crashed so I just talked to Emily on the phone for a while instead. But what I was trying to type before was that I was seriously CRYING with laughter, and that I didn't know whether to feel honored or insulted. :) And Mr. Kawasiki, I'm surprised you didn't add those already-blogged photos of my injury to your investigative report. At any rate, I would describe that expression as more like "what the fuck, you crazy people?!" rather than "mean," as you said. :p
As for bougie, all I can quote is Miss Muffy, who sang "like a boogie, I pick it, and flick it on your mom..." er, wait...yes, I've heard bougie said like that before. (although looking it up on dictionary.com will give you a, er, different interpretation) (and, this is not to be confused with bogies or Bogie).

::: posted by Alura Allumeuse at 10:51 PM

One name? Mine would be Scooter because they are trendy and can roll like a MF. Speaking of scandal, and girls I really do know what a bore it is to be so self-referential, but I should let you all know that our resident goddess has made the headlines today: READ ALL ABOUT IT here.
I opened the paper i'm taking to the mmla with a reading of the scum manifesto (of solanas as a "bored politico") and, i assure you, absolutely did not hesitate in quoting the "big bouncy boobies" passage. i luv that book.
One more thing: have any of you ever heard the word "boo-gee" as slang for bourgeois? I implore you to try it - it's saucy and savory. these girls i hung out with last night said it and i laughed my ass off.

::: posted by emma c at 9:04 PM

"But anyway, best to just IGNORE THEM! No matter what they say or what kind of high-pitched noise they make; continue saying it or thinking it to the exclusion of everything else until it works. Say it ten times, a hundred times, a THOUSAND TIMES! DEMAND IT!!!"

I bet "Goddess" and "Queen" don't count in your book, eh?
Allura was the name of a perfume I saw on a billboard in Paris (strangely enough, Sergio's DV was the brand Elura, which I never noticed til after we got back). I think Alura, besides being a switcharound of my name and evoking that which allures, is appropriately snotty-sounding to be a one-word moniker (despite my adoration of "allumeuse," translated as "sexpot" in one dictionary). It's also prettier than "fotzepolitic", which I have been known to go by on e-mail lists -- title of a Cocteau Twins song, German slang for "cunt politics." ("muschi," of course, being German for pussy, meaning the same thing...felines and genitalia)
your provider of all information yonic,
Alura

::: posted by Alura Allumeuse at 4:42 PM

There are many funny things in the SCUM (Society for Cutting Up Men) manifesto, but for some reason this strikes me as hilarious...last paragraph: "The sick, irrational men...will cling in terror to Big Mama with her Big Bouncy Boobies, but Boobies won't protect them against SCUM; Big Mama will be clinging to Big Daddy, who will be in the corner shitting in his forceful, dynamic pants."

Kevin, we need to send a love letter to capitalism. You know what a love letter is? It's a bullet from a fucking gun! (thank you Dennis Hopper for that moment in Blue Velvet)

Everyone on Blogger...if you had to go by one name, like Madonna, or Cher or even Fixer, what would your name be? Mine would be Grezmiralda!

::: posted by Patricia Rini at 4:05 PM

Hurmmm...that Nike page definitely is weird. I have to think, though, that the part about the person being paid by Nike to write it is total BS. Despite what he says, there couldn't possibly be a reason Nike would want to distribute this article. Also, the bit about the text supposedly being found on a photocopied piece of paper on a billboard is as fishy as it gets. I guess the Nike "offensive" ad campaign could be true, although with it happening in Australia it's hard to tell (anyone been down under recently??). Of course, they could have run the ad campaign and not really meant to refer to Nike's truly offensive labor practices, maybe it was just a poor choice of words. But, all of that said, it's a very well done mockup of the real Nike site, and going to the store locator/product locator links at the top does seamlessly take you to the real Nike site. But that last part about being paid to write it by Nike...I just don't get it. Any other thoughts??

::: posted by Patricia Rini at 1:54 PM

Well, Butch may call herself feminist scum, but at least she's not a lesbian terrorist. NY-lissa, you said you require chocolate today?

Been reading discussions about this site recently. No one seems to know what to make of it. A bizarre Nike hoax? A corporation trying to jam the culture jammers? If it's truly an anti-Nike site, why the comment at the bottom (which is the KEY part of this whole thing)? Who's wagging who?

::: posted by Alura Allumeuse at 1:38 PM

I'm blogging this photo album by royal decree, though i'm not sure if the goddess likes the sleaze, the grease, or the SMOKING better. thanks to all who signed my yahoo! brand guestbook - it cracks me up.
Love your reflections on vegas, sweet kev, esp #2.

::: posted by emma c at 12:08 PM

Ah, it's so refreshing, after several days of immersion, to scramble to the surface, stick my snorkel through, and hear lung-filling debate on Le Corbusier rather than Courvoisier, Calculus rather than Compositing software. Since Las Vegas is known for its impressionists (Rich Little and the like), a few Vegas impressions:

() Virginia is for lovers. Nevada is for professional lovers. Women of questionable repute clog the hotel lobbies and don't get out of your way when you try to walk past.

() The unbridled Americanism and patriotic kitsch of this town remind me of Gatlinburg, Tennessee. In neither instance is the nationalism/jingoism obvious -- no flags, scarce redwhite&blue -- but it's all a big valentine to capitalism, Sinatra-style, and a celebration of domestic tackiness.

() I met a guy who goes by one name: Fixer. Like Cher or Madonna. Fixer's a big oafish fellow who does IT for a video codec manufacturer. I'd never before met a single-name celebrity, much less a single-name NON-celebrity. I want to write him into a screenplay.

() Monday, I went out drinking until 5am with two guys from DV's sales and marketing staff. They/we were tomcatting on the expense account of a Canadian company that DV is trying to court for ad and trade show dollars, so it was casino-hopping in limousines. Reminded me of last year's free-spending, stock-option-drunk convention. Everyone's more sober this year, but I guess Canada gets everything delayed by a year or so. I had a 9am interview the following morning, which reminded me why editorial folks don't go carousing with sales and marketing people -- we can't keep up, and we have to keep all of our appointments the next day.

Okay, back to the interviews -- I have 12 interviews in a row today, scattered all over two giant convention center. My dogs are already howlin'.

::: posted by kevin seal at 10:17 AM

oh, if only I lived in L.A., I'd have a job ...and then I'd also get to see things like this...no, wait, that's already here.

::: posted by Alura Allumeuse at 9:46 AM

Tuesday, April 24, 2001 :::

You're right, Will. This isn't the proper forum for the Corbu revisionist vs. the Corbu apologist debate. I do have facts and insights to back up the rhetoric though, so if I ever bump into you at the Gables again, be prepared. I do want to go on record as refuting the "..blame all the world's great theorists for all of human suffering," bit. Specious analogy, man, when I get out to San Francisco I'll tell you why. Also, if the conspiracy is composed of the Bush administration, the religious right, and Corbu... there's plenty of acumen there. They've probably got William Safire working on it too and he's pretty smart.

But what I'm interested in is the iq test stuff that Laura mentioned, about doctoring tests to advance the interests of men. What's that about? I haven't heard about this before.

::: posted by the boot at 2:26 PM

Alex, Alex...I will not get into a great debate here over the relative merits of Le Corbusier, his theories, or how they were misinterpreted (many people wrongly blame him for the concept of the tenement high-rise - the bane of the urban jungle), to do so would be to blame all the world's great theorists for all of human suffering. However, the Bush budget decreases could never have been involved a conspiracy of such scope...that would require intelligence, something we know to be a genetic impossibility for them. :)

All I can say is thank god I never had to deal with Calculus...my poor verbal / visual brain just wouldn't deal. - Laura-l'eye, I share your score reversal pain.

damn all you calculus-heads anyway. My English-major, heavy-reading parents somehow neglected to instill in me, through nature or nurture, either the love for, or capability of easily doing, things involving imaginary frickin' numbers. (my verbal SAT was 100 pts higher than my math, a reversal unlike most people I know...speaking of which, Sunday's Wall Street Journal, which I found on BART this morning, had a fascinating opinion piece on the shoddy writing examples in the SAT and wondering how ANY kid could make sense of the essays or the questions, but I can't find a free link online) (and, in another interesting side note, when I've taken online IQ tests, I've scored differences of over 20 points, depending on whether the test is more verbal or math/puzzle oriented. Just goes to show you how easily manipulated that stuff is. I've read that when the first IQ tests were devised at the turn of the century, women outscored men so much that they revised it in a way that played to men's strengths and evened up the gap. Ah, intelligence)

::: posted by Alura Allumeuse at 12:20 PM

Jen: my calculus teacher had more endearing qualities than irritating ones. He was a jogger who worshipped Bruce Sprinsteen.

Will: Le Corbusier, in the end, inflicted more misery on more people than a half dozen minor despots. He should be tried posthumously for crimes against humanity. (Certain condors are endangered species, does this mean that worldwide disdain for the misery of living that makes men is waning? Does this mean that people will begin to enjoy the misery of living? Will this lead to the third 'Great Awakening' of religious faith? Is this why the Bush budget decreases funding for wildlife conservation? Oh God, I see the long arm of a very sinister and preposterous conspiracy at work.)

Charles Jeunnet: how can a soul incarnate anything? Souls are made of pixie dust and wishes.

::: posted by the boot at 11:46 AM

Speaking of genius architects, have we won everyone over to Gaudi yet? Must go back to Barcelona and see what else he did to that surreal city. (yes, that last link is for you, my subway-map-loving lesbo) :)

::: posted by Alura Allumeuse at 11:34 AM

Being a card holding member of Mensa myself...I can say that I still can't figure out why so many geniuses are crazy. Actually though, my theory is that the REST of the world is crazy!

And Alex, SO sorry to remind you of your high school calculus teacher. Unless that was a good association, of course. My high school calculus teacher looked EXACTLY like the frugal gourmet and went by the name Papa Smurf. He was a great guy, but all the same, I hope the association isn't mutual.

Off to the city to lunch with my homegirl Trish :P

::: posted by Jen Silver at 10:55 AM

Miss Muffy was something else...Almost makes me want to do a rapping GI-Joe Site...for even more fun, I'm a big fan of Stainboy but then, maybe I just like Burton's sense of humor.

On a different (and still somehow related note), does anyone else worry about why so many geniuses are so completely nuts... LeCorbusier once wrote a letter to his parents with a drawing of a sad condor. The letter read - "The misery of living makes man! ANd the disdain of this misery of living is incarnated in the soul of the GRAND CONDOR." I just don't know what to make of this trend... of course, if I were a genius I could prolly figure it out.

Monday, April 23, 2001 :::

Will does look vaguely familiar, and I do recall having a conversation about basques with someone in a restaurant circa 1997. Why the third person? Will, you look vaguely familiar.

This will be of interest to Kevin, if he's reading this: Kevin, I went to Jordan's barbecue yesterday. No word on Mikey, none. I thought that if anyone would know, Jordan would. He doesn't. I decided that the only way we'll ever figure out what he's up to is if we start seeing gaggles of japanese teenage girls wearing Mikey shirts. Otherwise, no chance.

Oh and Laura: it's not Elissa's fault that you guys decided to turn right when you should have turned left. Asking me to convince her to move back to the Bay Area is like asking me to grow tumors.

::: posted by the boot at 4:19 PM

Your facts for the day: 90% of all stocks are owned by the wealthiest 10% of Americans. The wealthiest 5% own 75% of the market and a full HALF is owned by the top 1%.

About 14% of Americans belong to labor unions. You tell me, why are there so many stock market news beats and never any for labor?

Sunday, April 22, 2001 :::

the more webpages I see that look like this, the funnier this is. (keep pressing the little grey square)

This is a long transcript of a talk given last year that discusses the therapeutic uses of MDMA and why it should be legalized for psychiatric use. It matches my personal experience far more than the idea of feeling compelled to stay up all night dancing to techno music. What's the point of THAT? Argh, damn these expensive, tasty, illegal drugs that pop your serotonin.

If you need a Flash cartoon diversion, when blondie and I were watching MTV's Download on Fri, we both thought Miss Muffy was inexplicably funny. (click on classic cartoons, then Miss Muffy...episode 3 was the one they showed on TV)

Hunter Seal Thompson, pliz to check yer hotmail account?

::: posted by Alura Allumeuse at 2:43 PM

Discussion-oriented community weblogs (metafilter, slashdot, kuro5hin...) keep popping up, and quality of discussions on these same blogs has been on the decline. Discussions become polluted with off-topic rants, "FRIST POST!"s and trolls. Advocates for Threading and Moderation have taken sides to find a suitable atmosphere, both without much luck. Check out MeatballWiki, a collaborative set of pages, thoughts, and ideas where everyone shares and improves. Imagine a collaborative weblog if it were run through MS SourceSafe. MeatballWiki runs on a version of the WikiWikiWeb collaborative system, which has apparently spawned around 200 derivative systems. MeatballWiki's design is a bit flat and boring, but could be vasly improved upon with a little imagination and Perl/Python/GIMP/Adobe skills. Wiki's got some serious potential.

::: posted by N T at 11:10 AM